I don’t actually know when it happened, but at some point, I appear to have become an adult. I pay my own bills, decide my own schedule, work almost constantly and I am solely responsible for the life of another being (a fluffy feline being, but a being nonetheless). It seems like it was only yesterday that I was playing hopscotch in the playground and talking in hushed tones about teachers we didn’t like. When I turned 18, nothing really felt that different. I was allowed to drink and gamble but other than that, I was still the same kid, making the same stupid mistakes. I think it took quite a few years of technically being an adult before I really started to feel like one, and even now I am not sure I am all the way there.
I have made my fair share of mistakes in the early years of adulthood and have learnt some big life lessons in the hardest ways possible. But there are things I wish I was told before I got here and, likewise, there are things that were said, that I wish I had taken better notice of. So here they are, the big life lessons I wish I had been more prepared for.
You’ll have to let friends go - and not everyone you lose will be a loss.
All those years spent as a chronic overachiever will not actually get you anywhere- no one in the workforce cares about what degree you did or what grade you got, they care about experience.
Healthy eating is not just something your parents made you do to be cruel - you feel so much better when you don’t eat shit all the time. It took me 7 years of adulthood to work that out!
Don’t waste your youth wishing you could be an adult, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
You’ll get irrationally excited for days off- not to go to the beach or hang out with friends or anything though, yesterday I actually got excited that I would have a day off to clean my room.
Sometimes you will wake up in pain, you’ll have no idea how or why and it’ll be gone the next day, but boy will it hurt.
You will never again feel like you have enough hours in the day.
You don’t have to look like a Victoria Secret Model to be worthy of love- all that matters is that you are happy and healthy.
It’s OK to help other people, but not to the detriment of your own life or health.
There are so many types of abuse…
There is always a way out.
No one is worth the tears you cry over them, not a single soul.
Life is easier when you embrace the things and people you love and reject the things and people who don’t bring you joy.
Time is our most valuable blessing.
It’s never OK for an employer, or anyone for that matter, to make you feel like you are not good enough- they are not right, they are simply small minded.
No matter what you do, people will judge you, so you may as well do what you love most and shut out all the noise.
There comes a point that you need to buy a car, buy a house, get your own health insurance, pay your taxes or build a budget - and it is OK to have a bit of a breakdown if you don’t know how to do any of those things- we were never taught life skills like that at school.
As children- we are all predisposed to care more about ourselves than anyone else- we are the centre of our universe, we can’t help it. But, as we get older, we become aware of mortality and, in an instant you start to care about the lives of others more than you do your own. It’s terrifying, and it’s OK to struggle with it.
YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL! - I know, terrifying right? The people you love will get sick, they will die and if I am being completely honest, I am still not really sure how to deal with this reality. I tend to just think like my old childhood friends Timon and Pumba- “Sometimes bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so why worry?”.
Love is not enough- we grow up thinking that all our problems will be solved when we fall in love… boy if only that were true. Establish yourself, find yourself, love yourself and the rest will come- don’t build your life around another human, it only ends in tears.
Strive to be the best version of yourself- don’t strive for perfection or you will eternally fall short.
Take one step at a time, it’s OK to have a goal, but set little goals for yourself on the road to the big one. If you have one big goal and focus solely on that, odds are, you will spend your life feeling unfulfilled and not worthy.
Never leave your house without your phone and a set of car keys… the girls reading this will understand why.
Life is scary, but it’s also short - don’t waste it. Remember these lessons, share them with the people you love. Go boldly forward into the life you were destined to live and don’t ever let anyone hold you back.
Sending love and emotional support to you, wherever you are on your life's journey.
xx